We’ve looked at right marital and friendship relationships, (see Part 1 and Part 2 of this series). Now, let us look at what turns them from right to wrong.
There are universal ‘character flaws’ that are detrimental to all relationships:
For you were called to be free, brothers and sisters; only don’t use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love. For the whole law is fulfilled in one statement: Love your neighbor as yourself. But if you bite and devour one another, watch out, or you will be consumed by one another. Gal. 5:13 – 15. CSB
Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, moral impurity, promiscuity, idolatry…hatreds, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions, envy… Gal. 5:19, 20. CSB
Throughout the Bible, God also warns us about exercising dishonesty, lying, acting prideful, or being unfaithful or disrespectful. Ultimately then, having any kind of right relationship is about having a godly one.
Besides our relationship with God, let’s look at how His next most cherished relationship, marriage, is frequently broken. In the beginning of this post series, you might recall that I said, ‘Family doesn’t work unless the marriage works first.’ So, there is a lot at stake in making it do so.
The first phase of a wrong marital relationship begins with a breakdown of what should be the closest of friendships – consisting of one or both taking advantage of each other, losing mutual respect, and each spouse feeling frustrated and angry over character flaws of the other, that were first overlooked in the blush of new love.
Peace in the home is all but forgotten; and intimacy becomes a thing of the past:
A bowl of vegetables with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate. Pr. 15:17 NLT
Better a dry crust eaten in peace than a house filled with feasting – and conflict. Pr. 17:1 NLT
Friendship and love are foundational for a right relationship:
My beloved is mine and I am his…This is my beloved and this is my friend. Song. 2:16 & 5:16 NKJV
When the foundation is gone, one or both of the partners seek to fill their needs elsewhere, maybe just a little ‘innocent’ flirtation. When they do that, they run right up into the face of their Maker. Look at His words:
Drink water from your own well – share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Pr. 5:15 – 17. NLT
Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. Heb. 13:4 NLT
And don’t forget, these prohibitions were clearly stated in the Ten Commandments:
“You shall not commit adultery.” Ex. 20:14 NKJV
Because marriage is the most sacred of all man-woman relationships, it is the biggest target of the devil; and adultery is his most lethal weapon. From there, he can destroy entire families.
It is so deadly that God not only forbids the act of adultery itself, He further warns that even to have an intention to commit adultery invites judgment:
“…everyone who looks at women lustfully, has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Mt. 5:28 CSB
Any marriage partner that indulges in adultery, is prostituting his or her self:
And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.
Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, which was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. 1 Cor. 6:16 – 20. NLT
But let’s not make light of the strength of the temptation to do so. The media and the culture indoctrinate us with the ‘thrill of it all,’ the perfect sex – an adventure that we all deserve. There are even dating websites for married people who want to cheat on their spouse.
Look to God first, to strengthen your resistance against the temptation, keep your focus on your spouse, and avoid potentially adulterous situations.
Lastly, do not withhold intimacy from your spouse as a form of punishment. It just emboldens the enemy all the more (1 Cor. 7:3 – 5.). As for how to live in a right marital relationship, look again to the first blogpost in this series.
Together, husbands and wives who love each other and are devoted to the well-being / success of their marriages, can receive all that God has intended for their lives. Marriage is sacred ground. If treated in that way, in a godly way, any other relationship that you have will blossom as well…Stay Tuned!
Goodnight and God bless.